Some nonsense I sometimes think of

Movies of 2010

2011-03-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

I've decided to make a list of the movies released in 2010 that I've seen, order them and write a few words about each. For future reference.

12. Inception

Inception is the most idiotic movie I have seen that's in this list. Just like in the movie, there are 4 layers to this, and I'm going to go through them.

On the very first level we have what is the main theme of the story. Lead character Cobb has to deal with the memories of his wife, his own guilt and has to succeed to get back to his kids. However, in the relationship with his wife we are never shown more than the fact that she is a psychopath; all we get is Cobb whining about how much he loves and misses her. This is the main point of the movie - everything Cobb does is related to this woman, and everything that happens is because of her, be they Cobb's decisions, or her projection interfering with things. We are supposed to follow with his conflict, yet every time I see the woman I want her gone as fast as possible. Whenever flashbacks or projections of his family appear, all we are treated with is a blank stare. Also, the whole predicament he is in is quite ambiguous. He can very well travel all over the world, meet his father, phone home, but he couldn't have taken his kids with him. Considering all this, how then am I supposed to cheer for the character to succeed when I don't care about his goal?

Stripping all that away, what we remain with is a heist action movie. I've already dismissed the fact that the purpose of what they are doing has any interest to me, so I'm going to go deeper - to the second level. The consequences of their mission is irrelevant to the movie. We don't care whether mister Japan gets to rule the world, and what would have been very interesting to follow - the Fischer father-son relationship is moved to the state of pretext, and is superficially treated. Just watch the scene where Fischer wakes up, shaken by his revelation and tell me that's not ridiculous, since it has no relevance to the main part of the movie.

Granted, the whole plan to convince Robert is interesting to follow and is backed-up by delicious three-level action scenes, a brilliant gravity shifting fight (the best part of the movie) and good, innovative special effects. But towards the end the action is shredded to bits by the moral conflict of the story, or rather the other way around. When Cobb finds his wife, and we are about to get some explanations to this whole deal, almost after each few relevant lines we cut to some men in white shooting or a guy placing yet another explosive.

The movie even tries to show us a bit of team spirit and build some character relations with some brief commentaries and cheap tricks. When I've got to deal with an ambiguous conflict, and a confusing story, the last thing I care about is a bunch of background people with little character to show.

And I really hate Nolan's directing on a large level. The details are great, but the movie is just a bunch of scenes coming one after another without any coherent train of thought, a structure to it, or any build up. The first hour was excruciating to sit through, having to sift through many details, and unknown characters, that you can't tell if they are going to be relevant in the rest of the movie or not.

There are also so many external references and movie homages, that just show how bad Inception is when compared to them.

Moving on to the third level, we deal with the movie's Sci-Fi under layer. In Inception this element is there for the sake of things and not to provide much significance, even though it tries to. We get the technical details - lots of them. This does provide us with some incredible effects, but this is just showing off, as they become almost irrelevant for the rest of the movie. The whole dream "technology" is basically the world the characters have to deal with, the laws that govern it. And they all accept it, for good or for worse. Rarely do they try to delve too deep into any of the consequences. The deepest the movie does go is to imply that the dream is just a trap, from which one should escape. What is the consequence of getting out or staying in? The movie doesn't say.

Finally, into limbo world, we sink into Inception's reflective layer. The ending wishes to send out a message that we have just witnessed something awesome and that we should be asking questions, that there is something profound there, an eye-opener onto the real world. However, for me, it's just smoke and mirrors, offering us several possibilities, none of which make much sense with what we have just seen. Up until the end we are not provoked to question the validity of what we are seeing. Simply showing a symbol is not profound. The ending could have simply been Nolan shouting "Cut!" and the camera panning back to reveal a filming set. That would have had the same effect.

The movie does not put an emphasis on discerning dream from reality, although those are supposed to be its major points. Simply wording it does not count. I cannot tell whether it's best to be in a dream world, or in reality, as there are no emotions shown from the characters part tearing them from one or the other. Our answer to the question "Is it a dream? Is it reality?" is not what's important, more intriguing would have been Cobb's reaction. If he found out he was still in a dream, what would he do? Does he accept it or not?

Rather than asking him, the movie is asking me: is this reality or a dream? It's a movie! I don't care what it is in the movie. It has no repercussions on how I see my world. The dream world is a construction that engulfs the movie world completely, because the movie doesn't want to tell me anything about its repercussions. It just accepts it as a natural fact, just like I accept my world with all the gravity and stuff. If you ask me, it was just one of Nolan's strange dreams in which nothing makes much sense when you think of it, but when you wake up sweaty you have the feeling that it's something great. With that shot of the spinning top, Christopher Nolan has implanted us with the idea that his movie is something great and profound. Do you choose to accept that? Or do you choose reality?

11. Tron: Legacy

This is a bullshit of a movie. Despite being a sequel to the original Tron, it's actually a remake, even though the story is different. Everything that was in the original, is redone here using the latest graphical effects. First we get the Recognizers, then Disc Wars, then we get Light cycles, then the lead gets out of the bounds of the race track, the heroes have to go to someone to help them reach the portal, and to get there they use the Solar Sailer where the guy and the girl can share an emotional moment.

Everything else about the story in this movie is totally irrelevant. It didn't make sense to me, and I couldn't care less what the final outcome was. In fact I think the creators themselves approached this movie by pushing the story to the background. All they wanted is to entertain us with special effects, cool music, hot chicks in hot outfits, cheesy references to the original and to have Jeff Bridges duplicated on screen as a young CG version of himself. Which is exactly what I liked about this movie.

10. How to Train Your Dragon

A movie with dragons and vikings! How cool! But among the cheesy modern teenage dialogue and some mildly interesting action scenes, this is a missed opportunity. Not very much is remarkable or memorable here, except maybe the kid and his relation with the other characters, especially with the dragon and with his father. It's nice to see intelligence being praised in such a movie. Other than that I think I would have like this more if was a kid.

9. Alice in Wonderland

Another not very memorable movie, apart from the incredible scenery and stylistic effects. The wonderful shots, Tim Burton's freakish touch and the empowering score made for a very thrilling experience. Who would have thought this is how Wonderland is like? It had the most immersive 3D effects that I've ever sat through, the height of which is represented by the scene where Alice falls down the hole. Another of my favourite scenes are those with the Cheshire cat, especially the moon turning into the cat's smile. I also enjoyed the ending when Alice dons the stylish armour and sword for the final battle, ending wit the dragon's head falling down the spiral stairs. That's Wonderland, heh!

8. Megamind

The whole first act is exceptional. I was so thrilled that I thought this movie would be as amazing as Up with the great storytelling and homage to previous great works, but then it went from a movie with deep moral meaning to a generic action animation. Such a waste!

7. The Social Network

Great movie: great acting, great directing and great screenplay. Without these three you wouldn't be able to sit through the scenes in this film: people talking really fast and witty, people coding, people talking in a loud bar, lawyers talking and so on.

But.... there is a big problem. And since nobody seems to see the elephant in the room, I'll just point it out. This movie has no point! It tries to touch different aspects, but never bothers to stop on something meaningful and it is shallow in everything it deals with. As far as character development goes, it's like turning slightly to the side. Watching "The Social Network" gains you nothing whatsoever, and it does not offer anything emotionally or intellectually provoking.

For a movie with "Social Network" in its name, it's exactly the social interactions that are its weakest point. All of the relationships are soft and superficial, uninteresting and not very believable. The friendship between Zuckerberg and Saverin is never proven on screen, only taken for granted, with lines like "Friends don't do that". Even the conflict between them is weak and artificial, rather than emotional. The reasons behind it are vague and ambiguous, so I for one can't really understand the Saverin's outburst towards the end. I can't understand why Zuckerberg is doing what he is doing, as we get no insight to his emotions. He is simply a jerk, and nothing changes throught the whole movie.

I didn't expect to see the actual history behind the founding behind Facebook. But this is one of the most successful companies in all of history, which would have surely greatly affected its founders and people involved. Instead, we get some vague conflict regarding jealousy over acceptance to some exclusive douchebag club and a great conspiracy which involves a mistreated chicken (the highlight of the movie in my opinion!).

The other conflict, between the Facebook founders and the twins is just as weak, as they do not pose much threat to Zuckerberg's success, neither throughout the movie, nor in the end as we find out. In fact, they have their own story - one of morality, team spirit and boat racing. What that had to do with the founding of Facebook.... who knows?

The movie even turns into melodrama, in the scene where Saverin's girlfriend overreacts. A moment ago she was just some hooker who approached him because of his popularity and gave him a blowjob in the bathroom, but now the relationship is serious, and we find out she is overly jealous. This is soap opera material. In fact, I think the soap opera format would have suited this story much better. Zuckerberg's relationship with Erica is just as fake. From the movie I gathered she didn't matter much in his life, but the end would have us believe otherwise - not to mention the irony behind how meaningless the ending is. That sums up perfectly how little The Social Network has to offer.

Also, from the title you'd take it that the movie is in some way about social networking, a phenomenon so great that has opened amazing new opportunities, and has changed the way that most of us interact. What do we get? A bunch of silly people prancing around, arguing about their meaningless problems, with some cheap insertions of references to social network interactions. I mean, my girlfriend would kill me if I didn't set my relationship status, people get hooked to each other on Facebook, some people spend so much time on Facebook it's scary. But all we get is a few references that have nothing to do with the story whatsoever.

I'm guessing "The Social Network" was supposed to be a snapshot of modern social interactions, portrayed through the relationships of several people involved directly or indirectly in the founding of Facebook. Well, it's not a portrait, it's not a caricature, it's not even a sketch. I'd say it's something in between a sketch and stick figures. And no matter how good you make the lines of the stick figures, it's still not going to be a masterpiece, it'll only be superficial.

6. The King's Speech

The best actor movie on the list. Every scene is wonderful to watch because of this brilliant trio: the stammering king Colin Firth, the comical Geoffrey Rush and the loving wife Helena Bonham Carter. While the latter two have a quicker impact, as the movie progressed, I was drawn more and more by Colin Firth's character, as he could perfectly portray both the fear inside the man, and the power that he inherits through his royal blood, in a manner to which I could relate.

I liked that they tried to tell an inspiring story, but that didn't catch substance and it seemed to me like a just a setting for the brilliant talent of the cast to unfold in. The directorial touches are too obvious, too intrusive and some of the technical details are just superfluous.

Some scenes are way overacted. The first scene felt like I was being punched in the face to accept the larger than life tragedy of this poor man who stammers. Luckily the rest of the movie is nothing like this, making said scene seem taken from another production. In fact, I appreciated the light, merry tone all throughout, even in the more serious moments. Unfortunately, this too is stretched too much in the end, when the king's war speech matters more than the fact that war has just been declared. But all in all, it's just delicious British self-irony. And can you dig that ridiculous Churchill played by Timothy Spall?

5. Piranha

This is one gory movie that I really enjoyed! Rather than just showing would-be frightening or gross scenes, Piranha wants to thrill us, to engage us. The victims are tossed around and mutilated in spectacular ways, with an impression that some more powerful force is punishing them. I think, or like to believe that this movie has some moral message behind all the gruesomeness and blood, although sometimes it does appear to be radical. The scenes are well built and directed, and generally show off that there is some artistic feeling being put in there. I was surprised by the creativity shown at some points. (no spoilers) I also liked how the director even went out of the movie's way, reaching out toward the ridiculous, having something like a lesbian mermaid dance involving two naked girls. I really don't want to give anything away, but I can say that I've barely touched on all the things I've liked about the scenes. The ending shot is great - funny, but I think it also gives another perspective to the whole thing. All in all, a very good, fun, thrilling, artistic, gory movie.

4. Kick-Ass

3. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I'm putting these two together since they are very similar. First of all they're both comic book adaptations, and second, they both have originality as strong points. This can be seen in Kick-Ass's thrilling action scenes and extraordinary characters. And I mean that last part literally, especially when you think of the star of this show - the 11 year-old killing machine called Hit-Girl. Both movies use innovative narrative devices. While present in Kick-Ass as well, this is more evident in the video-game inspired effects used in Scott Pilgrim; which is just a modern way of telling a teenage get-the-girl story.

But all that originality wouldn't be shit if the movies didn't have bigger than life characters (really - these are the most interesting movie characters in 2010), captivating stories, humour and thrilling action scenes, making them really enjoyable to watch. However, while entertaining, Kick-Ass is just a superhero action-flick and Scott Pilgrim is just a romantic comedy. Nothing too deep or thought-provoking - just fun. That's why these movies won't be any higher on my list. A plus for Scott Pilgrim because it actually has the main character evolve and learn something about himself and his relationship with The World, giving the movie an overall meaning.

2. Toy Story 3

It was really hard to rank this movie. I've moved it back and forth, and finally decided to place it at this spot because of how deeply impressed I was by the ending, it's as emotional as you can get, and Pixar knows how to do it best. It's not really that good as a movie as the previous two, but since this is a subjective list, that doesn't count.

The big problem is that Toy Story 3 looks as two separate movies. It continues where the last one left off with the problem that Andie has grown up and needs to make a decision as to the fate of the toys. In any case it's not going to be a good one. Then, using the common plot device of a simple misunderstanding (present in the first two Toy Stories as well), the movie makes a hard turn into a generic action flick, that has nothing to do with what was shown up to now.

It is interesting to watch, but it just feels like to completely separate parts, and a motive to show something going on and to give all the toys a few moments of peril and togetherness. That is good, as each toy has its moment and backstory, unlike Toy Story 1 or 2 where mostly Woody or Buzz were in the spotlight. Especially interesting is the side story of Ken and Barbie.

The main villain is quite uninteresting and poorly sketched, with an unconvincing background. But at least we have his sidekick, one of the sweetest evil characters ever. And I mean sweet not as in touching, but in the pure evil, creepy way.

I think it's clear that this installment was created especially for the 3D, but I'm very glad they didn't dismiss the rest and put all efforts into making a good movie especially if it's the last one in the series, unlike other franchises that have had comebacks just for the 3D. I also regret not seeing it in the cinema, because I think the effects were really good.

Apart from a slow moment in the middle, the movie's pace is mind boggling, as it has been in the previous two movies in the series, with the heroes being thrown from one peril into another. I must say this is the first time that I see a plan going off without a hitch all the way to the end, when the bad guys just show up. It just adds to the feeling that the writers knew that this part isn't important and that we should go through it as quickly as possible.

But at least they offered us monumental climactic scene, in which the whole movie team seems to have brought its outstanding contribution: the direction, the animation, and the music make for a masterpiece of a scene.

The deep impression this movie left in the end is more than enough to make up for the bad structuring.

1. Black Swan

For me this is by far the best movie of the year. To quote the ending, it's perfect. I don't have anything to complain about this.

The story builds on a couple of age-old myths and the movie wraps around it like a glove. It stems a few side stories, it gives a bit of conflict and some character development, but all these act towards the build-up of the main thread, expanding and evolving it towards the climax and ultimate message of the movie.

Even though the characters are given some personality, they are just avatars to carry the artistic vision and message of the story. All the secondary characters are different faces of the main character and what they symbolize and their role within the story is more important than any individual traits.

The orchestration of camera, lights and music is perfect, and all that remains is solid acting, and I think that Natalie Portman has outdone her self in an emotionally and physically exhausting role. I was afraid that she couldn't offer the transformation needed for the ending, but it just blew me away.

All that plus the salt and pepper added by Aronofsky in the form of surrealist introspection (without overdoing it) and (uhm... what's a nice euphemism for sex scenes?) artistic sexuality make for a very delicious viewing. This movie is thought provoking, mind stimulating, emotionally binding and .... yeah.

Final Thoughts

If you're wondering why "The Social Network" gets the award for most overrated movie, and not Inception, that's because Inception got the most idiotic movie award.
In case you missed it, click on the "Scrooge" Inception poster to find out what's the deal behind it and a higher-detail image of the poster.
Did you notice how the people in "The Social Network" keep a running tally of emails and messages they send, so that they can spontaneously come up with lines like "we've exchanged 52 emails", "you couldn't answer any of my 47 texts", and it took me 52 words to write this line?
Also, if you can't tell that a website is the next big thing just by glancing over one of its pages for a few seconds, then that is why you are not a billionaire yet.
Once again, the best animation comes from Pixar. Heh!
Enough with the comic books already!
It's nice to find a good diversity in the movies I've seen.

lecția despre cub. addendum

2010-06-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

Se ia o bucată de piatră,
se cioplește cu o daltă de sânge,
se lustruiește cu ochiul lui Homer,
se răzuiește cu raze,
până când cubul iese perfect.
După aceea se sărută de nenumărate ori cubul
cu gura ta, cu gura altora
și mai ales cu gura infantei.
După aceea se ia un ciocan
și brusc se fărâmă un colț de-al cubului.
Toți, dar absolut toți zice-vor:
- Ce cub perfect ar fi fost acesta
de n-ar fi avut un colț sfărâmat!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Apoi se vor îmbulzi toți
și vor fărâma toate colțurile cubului,
și-l vor colora în galben, în roz, în mov,
în verde-vomă, în maro-negru de căcat,
si în toate culorile curcubeului
și dincolo de el.
După aceea se va săruta din nou cubul
cu gura lor, a tuturor
și mai ales cu gura bălosului.
Unii, dar numai cei mai perspicace zice-vor:
- Ce cub urât este acesta
de n-ar fi iubit de toată lumea!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dar eu
desenez pe nisip un cerc
după care îl tai în două,
cu același băț de alun îl tai în două.
După aceea cad în genunchi,
după aceea cad în brânci.
După aceea izbesc cu fruntea nisipul
și îi cer iertare creatorului.
Atât.

Catch the Pigeon!

2010-04-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

In the Asylum for Cartoon Heroes, an old Dick Dastardly sits on a wooden chair against a side wall. Two lamps in the corners of the wall shine away, leaving him in a dim obscurity. The other heroes try to avoid him, finding other things to do, gathering in bunches and doing what is generically termed as "old people stuff". Dastardly is not mad, nor has he ever caused any trouble. He will answer you if you talk to him, but he is regarded as just too grumpy to be around. All will tell you that there is something on his mind, something that they just don't want to find out what it is.

There are exceptions, like our little anonymous villain that nobody can remember seeing in an actual cartoon and, thus, ignore him as well. We'll just call him Squirt. He is new to the asylum, just three weeks, and hasn't quite gotten in with the crowd. Dick Dastardly has been his idol ever since he began his career, so you can imagine his excitement when seeing him here. However, he hasn't had the guts to approach him until the ignorance of his fellow heroes had left him kind of lonely.

Dastardly didn't even notice Squirt when he first talked to him. Staring somewhere far into the room, he only moved his eyes from side to side, as though he had heard an unknown sound from somewhere. Squirt called out louder: "Excuse me, Mister Dastardly!" The veteran turned his head slowly and lowered it to where he had heard the sound. "Hmmmm?" he muttered, with an expression that, if you had known him well, you would instantly recognise as showing that he was very surprised.

"Hello, Mr. Dick Dastardly... sorry to bother you... I only wanted to...." He was interrupted by a cough. "Oh... sorry... it seems you don't want to be bothered right now."

"No, do go one, hehehe... I was just so surprised that someone would come up to me. It took me unprepared. Heheheeheheee."

Recognising Dastardly's characteristic laugh, Squirt felt more confident. "I'm a really big fan of yours and...."

"And you want my autograph. Very well."

"No, no. I just wanted to ask you a few things. It is an honour for me to talk with you."

"Aha, I see. But... who are you?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. You've probably never heard of me."

"Very well then. What is it you wanted to talk about? Iheeheehee."

"Hahaha", Squirt laughed heartily. "That laugh may have toned down with the age, but it sure still does have that devilish ring to it." A short pause ensued as he waited for a reaction which never came. "Please tell me. You were in the races at first. But when it was going so well for you, you disappeared. What happened?"

"I won."

"....Oh....", Squirt acknowledged with a dumb look on his face for not thinking of the obvious short answer.

"Yes, I finally won. And after that it all felt so pointless. What was the meaning to cheating any more when I had proven it works? The thrill of racing was gone. There is nowhere to go from first place. I had reached the top, and the only way to go next is out. If you don't want to go back down that is, eeeheeeheeeheee."

"You are right! So then you joined the Vulture Squadron."

"Precisely. The best team I ever had and the best job, too. I could do it for days on end. And I did."

"Until you retired that is."

"Yes, yes, until I retired and came here. I have done other miscellaneous things during that period, but those were just hobbies of mine. See this medal?" He pointed to the shiny metal on his chest. "That is what symbolises my life's accomplishments and shows that I did not live with nothing to show for it." Indeed, despite being a veteran, the old man did not look run-down at all, except for the obvious wrinkles and grey moustache. The spotlessly kept uniform and the brightly polished medal, and, of course, the hearty laugh, gave the appearance of a man in almost all his powers.

"Speaking of medals... where's Muttley?"

Dastardly's eyes opened up, grew big and stared down the hall. He quickly recovered form the surprise of hearing that name after so long. "He... he..." his voice stuttered. "He died." If his eyes hadn't been dried by the sands of time, you could probably see a salty tear run down that crusty cheek. Then he continued, looking straight at a random spot on the floor. "Of old age. Dogs don't live as much as us. We buried him along with his medals. How he loved those medals! Hehehehe. He was a lovely mutt!"

"Uhm..." Realising his mistake and not wanting to stir deeper into the memories, Squirt changed the subject. "But did you ever catch that Pigeon?"

Dastardly's eyes switched to him, looking sharply through him. They blinked fast three times, then a pause, and another blink. "Er, no." he answered, with no show of emotion whatsoever.

"No?!" Squirt jumped intrigued.

"No. You can't. It's impossible."

"But... The achievements, the medal... I thought you...."

"You can't catch the Pigeon!" Dastardly pronounced categorically. "It flies high above in the sky. It has wings. It blends in with everything around it. It is part of the sky and it is the sky, in all its entirety. You can't catch the sky. Therefore you can't catch the Pigeon."

Squirt was starting to feel like he should have left his courage at home this morning and that he should have just tried to blend in with the rest of the crowd. The captain was obviously cuckoo.

"The Pigeon has wings, while we have to build these blasted machines. We can never get them right. However good we build them we can never achieve the perfection of the wings. It's like I always told Klunk: I hope this dumb invention is better than your last dumb invention. I think he finally got it."

Squirt was totally lost and had absolutely no idea what to say next. If only he could just turn around and be gone.

The window on the right wall, as Dastardly was looking, opened up and a bright light shone in. Seven trumpets blew and a splendid white bird flew in. Its feathers were impeccable, the wings sparkled as they fluttered in mid-air, delivering a delightful sound to Dastardly's ears. The flapping almost slowed down time to a halt, capturing each moment in a frame, before the Pigeon flew out the opposing window, carrying away its forever unknown message.

Dick Dastardly leaned back, exclaiming just one word: "Beautiful!", before closing his eyes and his mouth into a smile.

Fițe pascale

2010-04-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

For none but the brave
Shall rise up from the grave
To see the Valkyries fly
ManOwaR
Hymn of the Immortal Warriors

Am observat că e la modă să respingi sărbătorile de Paști, mai ales tradiționalul salut "Cristos a înviat!", după cum se plânge o nevastă.

Recunosc, și eu aveam o repulsie când trebuia să răspund la salut. Dar cum mie nu-mi place să fiu la modă, mi-am ridicat un semn de întrebare și am căzut pe gânduri. Repulsia mea, de fapt, nu era la mesajul în sine, ci la tot ce se învârte în jurul lui și care a făcut ca între "Cristos a înviat!" și "Trăiască nea Nicu!" să nu prea existe diferență.

Dar nu înțeleg de ce atâta scârbă față de una din cele mai tari sărbători ale anului. Așa de tare că eu o sărbătoresc de două ori, ha! Mărog, mai puțin în anii precum cel curent. După tradiție am fost la masă la taică-miu. Și în timp ce mâncam la TV au băgat scene cu Amza Pellea. Erau despre Anul Nou și ne întrebam de ce nu bagă și ei ceva de Paști. Apoi îi pică fisa lui taică-miu: "Pe atunci nu se sărbătoreau Paștele sau Crăciunul". Logic. Dar eu, mirat, întreb "Și ce făceați?". "Păi ce facem și acum, numai că nu era la TV". Adică mâncat bun și bine, vopsit și ciocnit ouă, adunat cu cei dragi la povești. Groaznic! Și dacă te simți cultural sau vrei să vezi ce face lumea bună, poți să mergi și la Înviere, să asculți muzică frumoasă, niște povețe și să dai târcoale bisericii cu lumânarea aprinsă. Și apoi la disco, normal! Mie mi se pare prea mult timp pierdut pentru prea puțin, așa că o dată mi-a fost de ajuns. Dar ideea e că a sărbători învierea lui Isus Cristos e aproape la fel de tare ca a sărbători nașterea lui Darth Vader (de fapt, tot o înviere e și asta). Dar na, probabil că Isus e mai popular. O fi de la barbă.

Una peste alta, Isus e tare. În caz că nu era evident, mai zic o dată. Isus e chiar extraordinar! A înviat! Ce poate fi mai tare de atât? A murit și s-a întors să le dea o palmă tuturor fraierilor. Probabil că de aici vine îngâmfarea asta. În loc să admirăm ce a reușit tipul ăsta, invidia ne macină, cum o macină și pe Mîță. Teribil de amuzant, dar probabil că mesajul dorit de autor era altul. Isus râde bine mersi și se înalță la cer, iar pe noi smiorcăielile ne înfig în țărână unde ne e locul.

Finalul e previzibil și nu poate fi decât o dedicație pentru toți dușmanii care crapă de ciudă că sunt muritori:

Cristos a înviat!

Up: Movie of the Year

2010-03-07T13:59:00.001-08:00

There's no doubt about it in my mind. Up is the best movie of 2009. No hippie blue cats, nor soldiers in Iraq, nor some Illiterate Basterds, not even a fat whining black bitch, and unfortunately not even the clueless Prawns can beat the 78 year-old man on the adventure of his life.

This is not just a movie, not just a work of art, it's an ode to all art created by man. It brings together the beauty of many different works such as the Wizard of Oz (the house gets caught in a storm and then almost magically appears in the fabled land), Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Arthur Conan Doyle's Lost World, Odyssey, Jules Vernes' books (obviously), Carmen, C. M. Coolidge, Dexter (as in Dexter's Laboratory you psychopathic serial-killer lovers! - see the episode where he makes a dog talk) and so on.

"Up" has everything! Adventure, action, battle scenes, a deep secret unknown to the common world, symbolism, witty humour, SQUIRREL!!!, tension, chase scenes, tough decisions (like in Matrix - the living being or your quest), a great story that actually makes sense, cool, lovable and smart characters, profound meanings and it's about The Meaning of Life.

When something happens in this movie, it doesn't just happen. It captures you and you move along with it. The opening part is a polished diamond in movie making. It's 15 minutes that not only narrate the whole life of a man and a woman, but sprinkle it with auditory and visual delight. The scene with old Carl waking up and coming to his porch, with Carmen playing in the background - it alone could be considered a masterpiece! If you are so stubborn as to not watch the movie, at least look at these first 15 minutes. If you watched it and were too blind to notice the brilliance, then watch it again.

The whole soundtrack is excellent. Nothing cheesy, besides that Carmen bit, it's basically the same frenchy "beginning of the cinema era" tune, but it works great with the movie's balloony narrative. There are bits here and there that you will notice, because they actually convey something to the atmosphere and are not just bolted to the movie because you need to have some music.

What I found interesting about the secondary characters is that they aren't typical. Usually in such animations, they are doofuses, that only cause havoc and somehow in the end their clumsiness saves the day. Not here. They are actually smart and do useful things. Sure, they are clumsy and say or do stupid stuff, but the creators of the movie took special care to give them another dimension as well.

The fat Asian kid, while annoying (as any child can be to an old man) actually helps a few times - he can apply a bandage, can see the storm ahead, and can even come up with such profound introspective thoughts as "I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most". Dug is probably the dumbest, but not that dumb at all if you pay attention. And he is terribly funny and lovable. SQUIRREL!!!! And finally, they gave Kevin a deeper role, of a mother lost from her children, which gives her a meaning in this whole picture, and is not just a pain in the ass, that one side wants to get rid of, while the other puts all his effort in catching it.

And now, the amazingness again. They basically took great action scenes from iconic action movies and transplanted them into the humorous world of cartoons, while keeping the tremendous joy of adventure from the originals. Does the scene where they flee from Muntz's dogs, swinging from a rope between the stone pillars look familiar? That's Indiana Jones and the Nazis. Then they took Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader and turned it into a grandpa battle of epic proportions of comedy. I can't think of a single person who won't laugh when they see this scene. And what about that canine X fighter squadron, with squishy bones for gun triggers? That's pure comedic brilliance!

Finally, I'd like two end with some amazing shots from the movie, which I think alone should be regarded as masterpieces. (yes, I know, I'm repeating myself)

Compare these two:

And then these two:

I'm beginning to like this:

(If you don't what the second one is, it's from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Ok, last one:

Stunning!

Ah, yes. One more thing. Catchphrases. "I see you"? Who the hell is the marketing genius who thought that one up? I'm laughing right now. Probably there wasn't enough budget because of all the state-of-the-art IMAX filming and they just jotted that one down. "Cross your heart". Now there's something all of us can relate to!

I could really dissect each and every frame of this movie, but I'm aware that I can't give the movie enough credit. Not barely! It's really that stunning, inspiring, relaxing, funny and profound!

But in the end it's just:

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
Houses in clouds....

Man in the Box

2010-02-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

I am the Man in the Box.

I live there. The Box is my home. I grew up there. I have explored it far and wide and I now know every nook and cranny of it. I have observed its perfect angles and admired the beauty of how the lines blend into another. I have made certain deductions and I am now 100% sure that the Box is either situated on a hard surface and attracted by a massive object, or that it is moving linearly with constant acceleration, with me inside it, pinning me to one of its sides, which I call the floor.

That was a long time ago. By the end of my teens I was sure I knew all there is to know about the Box. But time and time again, it would surprise me. In fact, the surprises were so regular that their appearance wouldn't surprise me any more. I have refined theories and changed my tastes and philosophical beliefs quite a number of times.

But that all came to an end at some point. No more surprises. That is, until the really big and, dare I say it, last one. You see, attached to the sides of the Box were 11 letters. I discovered them from back when I was a kid. There was a 'D' on the floor, an 'S' on the near end and an 'E' quite close to it.

I was a youngster when I made a remarkable discovery! I had already found the 'I' and the 'G', but not others. I was bored, so I started scratching around one of the letters. Often it is the case that such destructive behaviour is what leads to advancements in knowledge. By proceeding to tear apart the very fabric, I had witnessed a very interesting property: the letter would detach from the side of the Box!

(Actually, I later thought hard about it and questioned myself whether they had this property before that day or did they somehow get it over time. I found it miraculous that I did not discover it sooner. But finally I came to the conclusion that it was irrelevant.)

I was so excited! I quickly gathered all letters I knew of and the enthusiasm pushed me to find 'N' and 'C'. The other's were harder to find. There was the 'H' that was stuck up on the ceiling. I had known about it right after the first 3 that I found, but I couldn't reach it. Was I ever so happy when I finally grew tall enough to grab it. Then there was the case of the 'O' which, would you believe it, I found in my back pocket! Now that was quite a shocker!

There was a gap between the last letter and the one before that. The fact is, I had already found the 'R', but only far later did I act upon analyzing the letters in depth and made another stupendous discovery. It is after a lot of experience and countless surprises that you come to a point where you realize there are some certain patterns all around you. That is when I turned rigorous and started studying my surroundings systematically, especially the letters. It even now amazes me that such regularity lead me to find something that was quite irregular. There is regularity in irregularity, and irregulars among the regulars. That is my current belief. The letter 'R' was in fact two 'R's stuck back to back! I checked the other letters, but 'R' was the only one with this unique property. For what purpose were there two 'R' letters I had no clue.

Soon afterwards, irregularity struck me again, but at a higher level. On opposite sides of the Box, at exactly the same coordinates from the corner (I measured this once), there were two dots. I had not thought about this before, but they could be detached the same as the letters. Incredible! Different kinds of objects, but with the same property! What beauty!

So there I was, with a bunch of letters and two dots. I scoured the edges, I travelled the Box far and wide, studied, analyzed, observed, admired, but nothing more. Nothing surprising happened again. Until now, that is. I was jumbling the letters around, when it happened. Somehow I think I put the dots in the right place. Again, I am amazed that I had not put them in that same position in one of the numerous occasions when I played with the figures before. But then again what strikes me is that I was just moving them subconsciously around. It must have been some pattern that my brain had seen and told my arms to place the figures in that way. It almost seems like something else was in control.

I had no fears, for I had no enemies. There were a spider and two cockroaches. I was frightened by them when I was a kid, even though they did nothing to me, and I would stay away from them. But after I grew up, I wasn't the bit affected by their presence.

Now, however, it is the worst feeling of my life. It rushed through my whole body at great speed. My heart started pounding hard, ready to burst out of my chest. My body followed by shaking vigorously. Not even the End would give me that kind of feeling. In fact, I am quite sure of it, it feels like there wouldn't be any End.

The ceiling of the Box split, a bright blinding light burst inside and the top gave way.

I was the Man in the Box....

Cine n-are ingineri, să-și cumpere!

2009-12-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

Motto: Fă să iasă!

Ora 21. Cei doi candidați unul lângă altul pe ecran. Aceleași portrete, doar că unul e îmbrăcat în costum și cravata norocoasă. Numai că nu e loto. Începe să țopăie ca prostu. Dacă avea cel puțin un procent în plus îl înțelegeam. Oare a uitat ce e aia marjă de eroare? Au uitat toți cei din jur și n-a putut nimeni să-l tragă de mânecă?

Între timp, celălalt anunța și el cu brațele în V că „Am învins!”, în uralele cam neîncrezătoare din jur. E îmbrăcat lejer, în pulovăr, gata să-și suflece mâinile și să se apuce de treaba. Ba chiar a intrat mai repede cu 5 minute. Timpul e scurt și nu e de pierdut. Oricum, rezultatul exit-poll îl știa toată lumea.

Echipa s-a pus pe treabă. Au fost în priză toată ziua, ce urma era „un fleac”. [1] E „așa de simplu” (Videanu). Mecanismul era deja rodat, scuipa numerele la fiecare minut. Ingineria e legată de jocul numerelor. Trebuie să le ordonezi favorabil ție. Să faci să iasă. În primul tur, Băsescu spunea că exit-poll-urile sunt comforme cu informațiile lor și că pâna a doua zi, vor „face” să corespundă. Voturile sunt un joc al hazardului. Tu trebuie doar să-l controlezi. Iar ca să-l controlezi trebuie să știi să-l măsori. ("You can't control what you can't measure" - Tom DeMarco) Apoi trebuie numai să faci corecturile necesare.

Ca să poți măsura cum vor evalua voturile, important e să ai oamenii care să supravegheze desfășurarea votării, ca să culeagă datele. Apoi se centralizează, se fac statistici. Iar asta în mod continuu, pentru că numai astfel poți avea o imagine clară a evoluției. Iar de aici până la extrapolarea rezultatului final e doar un mic pas.

La ora 21 fără 5, știau exact rezultatul. Nu al sondajelor. Cel de la ora 11 de a doua zi - numărătoarea finală. De fapt, se știa chiar de la ora 19. Numerele nu pot minți. Trebuie doar să le înțelegi și ele îți vor spune viitorul. Între timp, prostănacul aștepta ca numerele să se oprească naibii din pâlpâit și să arate câștigătorul. Dacă Băsescu enumera motivele victoriei, Geoană apela la simboluri divine, spirituale și personale.

Ce a urmat, pentru PDL a fost doar o verificare de rutină. Să se asigure că numerele pușcă. Ponta anunța a doua zi că „sistemul lor de fraudă și de furt a funcționat mai bine”.[2] 100% corect! Am apreciat că în cele două zile - duminică și luni, politicienii au fost cât se poate de cinstiți în declarații. Absolut toți. Desigur că au fraudat. Toate partidele au făcut-o. Și desigur că PDL a făcut-o mai bine. De aceea a câștigat. Sistemul PSD e învechit și prăfuit, vreo mașinărie infernală rămasă de pe vremea lui tataia Ilici. PDL însă, și-a făcut upgrade. Softul lor merge și în caz de pană de curent, iar tehnicienii PDL sunt Agili.

Atunci când datele îți arată că rezultatul nu îți va conveni, trebuie să faci corecturile necesare. Controlul. Să făci să iasă. La o asemenea diferență mică, practic votul nici nu contează. Nu putem spune că poporul a ales. Poporul a fost indecis. Așadar mi se pare foarte firesc ca rezultatul să fie decis între partide. Cel mai abil să câștige! [3]

Hrebenciuc declara dimineața că PSD s-a oprit din numărarea paralelă pentru că s-au sesizat nereguli. [4] Și ce?! Un inginer nu se oprește niciodată dacă rezultatul nu-i dă. Îl faci să iasă! Oricum, bătălia era deja pierdută. Demult. PSD au fost total nepregătiți. Iar PDL i-au călcat în picioare pe toate planurile. Nici nu au încercat să exagereze. Au luat exact atât cât le trebuia. Nici mai mult, nici mai puțin. În statistică, un număr prea mare sau prea mic, ar fi considerat o anomalie. PSD ar fi trebuit să facă ceva ca să-i oprească. Dar au fost incompentenți. Când și-au dat seama de greșeală a fost prea târziu, iar acum strigă „Uitați neregulile!”. Astea trebuiau șterse cu guma și corectate în timpul calcului. Nu după ce ai predat tema.

„I-am ciuruit!”[1] declara foarte simpatic (în stilul caracteristic, adică) Băsescu. Din nou, mai plin de adevăr de atât nu se poate. A fost o execuție a adversarilor. [5] O execuție sistematică și foarte precisă. E incredibil cât de bine se poate face o treabă în România atunci când se vrea și când toți își fac datoria. Întrebat cum au reușit să facă numărarea paralelă așa repede, Videanu exulta: „Băieți deștepți!” Excelent răspuns! Bravo! Felicitări! E exemplul perfect de spirit ingineresc pus în aplicare. Dacă e ceva care să mă bucure din toată scârboșenia din ultima lună sau mai mult, e faptul că acest spirit există ș funcționează.

Aparițiile lui Videanu din 10 în 10 minute nu au fost o manevră politică și nu avea scopul să influențeze votarea din diasporă care încă mai avea loc sau orice alt tertip de acest gen. Pur și simplu se lăudau. Numerele erau rostite cu savoare până la ultima cifră. Ele dansau pe ecran într-un joc ce părea aproape magic, pe măsură ce datele intrau în continuu, apropiindu-se de acel fatidic 100%, iar cele două procentaje vroiau să se pupe, dar parcă totuși păstrau distanța respectabilă. Ba chiar pentru un moment s-au întrepătruns, cu un neverosimil 50.01% pentru Geoană, 49.99% pentru Băsescu. O mică glumă inginerească, probabil. De asemenea, acum ei invită presa pentru a le explica cum funcționează sistemul nu ca să demonstreze că e corect, ci efectiv pentru că se mândresc de bijuteria pe care au pus-o la punct.

Inginerii sunt muncitorii de bază al oricărui succes. Sunt oamenii de jos, cei care fac „munca murdară”. E doar un clișeu, o metaforă, de fapt ei savurează din plin ceea ce fac, după cum s-a văzut clar pe fața lui Băsescu, Videanu etc. în momentele în care anunțau ce le șopteau numerele. Chiar și eu admir acuratețea și punerea în practică a acestui proces dintr-un sistem incredibil de complicat și de scârbos numit „politică”.

Dar trebuie ținut minte că orice aptitudine e bună doar la locul ei. Acum ar trebui dat jos chipiul de inginer, și îmbrăcat sacoul de manager. Iar asta, deja nu mă mai interesează.

[1] Băsescu - „Un fleac! I-am ciuruit!”
[2] Ponta - „Sistemul lor de fraudă și de furt a funcționat mai bine”
[3] În atare condiții, mi se par total inutile discuțiile de după alegeri, că românii din țară au ales într-un fel, iar cei din afară altfel. Repet, românii nu au ales nimic pentru că nu s-au putut hotărî.
[4] Hrebenciuc - PSD s-a oprit din numărat
[5] Rețineți, cum am spus mai sus, rezultatul a fost decis de lupta dintre partide, deci afirmația că cei ciuruiți sunt cei 5 milioane care au votat împotriva e lipsită de sens, pentru că Băsescu nu s-a bătut cu ei, ci cu PSD.

Simt nevoia să pun un disclaimer ca să nu se înțeleagă greșit. Acest eseu nu e o laudă subiectivă a nici uneia din părți, eu doar am analizat cum a reușit PDL să câștige alegerile, axându-mă pe această viziune inginerească a lucrurilor. Nu m-a interesat cine a ieșit, pentru mine oricum sunt toți la fel. Am votat cu pierzătorul, pentru că m-am săturat de celălalt și deoarece consider că o schimbare e mereu potrivită. Pentru mine, oricum sunt toți la fel, indiferent de culoare. Deobicei încerc să stau departe de politică, dar în aceste zile am fost captivat de acest joc și de modul în care a decurs.

Scrolling the Wave of Tomorrow

2009-11-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

First thing I notice after signing in to Google Wave: The stupid scrollbar. Anybody figure out how that works? Pull it, click it, do what you want. It has a mind of its own anyway.

Well, the invitation advertised it anyway: "you may run into some bumps along the way". Looking forward to the others.

The title bar said: "Andrei (3)". 3 what? Where are they? Is this a treasure hunt? Maybe it's behind the big empty window in the middle that says "No results found for inbox" (huh??). Nope, nothing there. Hmmmm, maybe you need to pull the scrollbar really hard and the '3' will pop up somewhere. Ah, screw it! I still can't use the damn scrollbar.

Well, 5 minutes was really ENOUGH of Google Wave for me. I wonder what was in the Googlers minds. Is this really the next big thing of the web today? Maybe the whole "I work for Google and I'm going to make the world the best place to live" elitist thinking has gotten to their heads. Forget about usability, doing this awesome scrollbar and windowing system is more important.

I dind't have the nerves to actually go and use it, but I've heard it's slow as hell. Before actually trying it, I really liked the idea. I didn't think it would replace email, nor that it would become more popular than instant messaging, but I really thought it fit its niche perfectly. And that niche is collaboration. It would be really useful to use by teams, even ones that work in the same room. Have a debate, simultaneously edit some document, and in the end, save it for future reference. Instant documentation, combined with brainstorming. But not this shitty implementation. No way.

Google hasn't put together one (not one, i stress that) brilliant product since the Google search engine. Ok, maybe Google mail + chat. Everybody is saying that they're up to something. Something so incredible, that we can't even imagine how incredible it will be. I think I know what they're plan is. Judging from the state of Google Wave, it looks like they have lots and lots of monkeys to code. In a reasonable amount of time, some self-aware artificial life form is bound to appear out of that. Of course, at first it will be in 'beta' for a period that will seem like forever.

I admit I'm only judging the surface, but you can check out http://www.google.com/search?q=google+wave+sucks for more (some even serious) reasons why Google Wave is atrocious. So I'll let you discover the other many, many bumps ahead. Enjoy! And I saw some strong opinions that make it look like email and instant messaging are like the cancer of the internet. If something is not done fast enough we are doomed! I really don't see what the big problem is. I admit I haven't thought more deeply about it, but it sounds more like exaggerating some problem, so people will rush to embrace the new shitty replacements.

Trooper - Vlad Ţepeş - Poemele Valahiei

2009-11-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

După lansarea albumului Rock'n'Roll Pozitiv cei de la Trooper n-au stat pe gânduri şi s-au pus pe treabă la noul material, pe care şi l-au dorit a fi ceva măreţ. Iar asta în rock se traduce prin operă rock. Şi ce se potrivea mai bine ca temă decât simbolul oraşului natal al trupei - Vlad Ţepeş? (Bine că au renunţat la ideea iniţială cu Ghilgameş. Cine mama naibii e Ghilgameş?)

Chiar dacă vocalul Coiot a tot insistat că versurile descriu "adevărata istorie" a domnitorului, într-o lucrare artistică acest detaliu, din punct de vedere calitativ, nu aduce nimic în plus faţă de legenda lui Dracula. Aşa că pentru mine dezbaterea realităţii istorice prezentate în cele 12 piese este total inutilă.

Un astfel de proiect aduce de la sine mari aşteptări. Norocul lor că ale mele au fost scăzute, dar totuşi, cred că ei şi-ar fi dorit mai mult decât au realizat. Primul detaliu - ambalajul - primeşte nota 10. Măcar aici au nimerit-o. Şi cum prima impresie contează.... A doua însă nu mai e aşa bună. După o primă ascultare oricine îşi dă seama că ceva lipseşte. Lansarea albumului a însemnat o punere în scenă cu tot tacâmul: dans artistic, actori, orchestră. De ce, atunci, nu apare orchestraţia şi pe disc?! Pe lângă chitări şi tobe, în loc de viori avem.... clape. Care uneori sună a muzica dintr-un joc vechi pe calculator. Acesta este cel mai mare minus al albumului, care scade cu cel puţin 20% din valoarea sa.

Impresia mea este că s-au cam grăbit cu editarea materialului. De-abia a trecut un an de la ultima lansare. De ce atâta grabă? Nu înţeleg. Şi producţia mi se pare mai proastă decât pe celelalte albume.

Punctul forte îl reprezintă instrumentaţia. Şi acompaniaţi de clape în loc de orchestră, Balauru şi Popa reuşesc să creeze în muzică atmosfera necesară unui astfel de subiect. De remarcat sonorităţile etno de pe Solii turci şi Kara Iflak (plus un solo ce aminteşte de Strigăt). În rest, ritmurile de chitară produc o audiţie intrigantă, asigurată şi prin diversitatea lor de-alungul firului epic. Tobele pe unele pasaje de legătură sună simplist, singure, sugerând o lipsă de inspiraţie. Poate dacă ar fi stat mai mult să pregătească acest material....

După mine, albumul reprezintă cea mai bună creaţie cap coadă a celor doi chitarişti. Vocea, în schimb, este adesea deranjantă. De multe ori monotonă şi sacadată, cam cum cântam la ora de muzică în generală (vezi Coconul Vlăduţ - cea mai plictisitoare piesă de pe album), alteori transpusă în sunete nenaturale. Înţeleg că în final Vlad Moare dar chiar trebuie Coiotu să interpreteze aşa realist? Mai există şi un artificiu tehnic prin dublarea vocii, ce apare în diferite momente, care, deşi interesant, unora sigur le va displace.

Ar părea că singurele părţi bune sunt atunci când vocalul tace lăsând numai instrumentele să grăiască. Totuşi, când Coiotu o dă bine, apar şi cele mai bune piese. Cel mai bun moment al său, pe lângă cele corale, este cu siguranţă Solii Turci. Cine s-ar fi gândit că o asemenea interpretare l-ar pune în valoare?

Piesa Vlad Ţepeş şi-a găsit locul de drept, fiind îmbunătăţită de acompaniamentul clapelor. Se integrează perfect, oferind albumului şi un imn metal clasic, cu refren şi toate cele, pe post de intermezzo. Adăugând o altă piesă în cel mai pur stil Trooper - Sfârşitul fără sfârşit - şi neapărat În Valahia, avem un amalgam complet. Aceasta din urmă se remarcă prin compoziţia complexă gen Strigăt şi Totul e fals cu pasaje epice şi schimbări de ritm. De data aceasta nu s-au mai pierdut în piese de umplutură, ci au reuşit să îmbine foarte bine diferite stiluri şi categorii de melodii. Ce mă supără un pic e faptul că parcă nu le-au împărţit cum trebuie. Albumul e înregistrat ca o succesiune continuă, dar luate individual, majoritatea pieselor par că încep cu finalul celeilalte.

Din puncte de vedere al versurilor, e îmbucurător că s-a mai schimbat registrul răsuflat deja din precedentele compoziţii. Uneori, însă, unele texte sună scrise cu dalta.

Ar mai fi şi o piesă bonus, dar cum aceasta nu face parte efectiv din opera rock, nu am să vorbesc despre ea. Vreau doar să le dau un sfat. Dacă tot vreţi să răsplătiţi fanii cu piese bonus, încercaţi să le faceţi ca lumea, nu să vă bateţi joc de ele.

După cum insinuam la început, un produs la două extreme, cu multe bune şi multe rele, semn că, deşi încă sună bine, formaţia Trooper pare bătută între două scânduri, neputând să-şi depăşească limitele.

Poate mai puţină grandomanie şi megalomanie ar ajuta.

Într-un interviu la Sighişoara Coiotu abera (începând cu minutul 9:50) cum că va urma un turneu în cel puţin 15 oraşe "în săli mari" pentru că vor veni "cu filarmonică, cu cor", cu mama, tata şi purcelu. "N-o să mai meargă o cântare de club". Ghiciţi unde s-au ţinut concertele de până acum. Mai mult, culmea ironiei, în Timişoara vor cânta în Q & Q, unde la Luna Amară, o trupă cu un public la fel de numeros, nu aveai loc să te mişti, ce să mai mergi să-ţi iei o bere. Într-adevăr, ei cu filarmonica ar încăpea. Noi, publicul, ne vom uita pe geam, de afară.

The Lottery Conspiracy

2009-09-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened. The very, highly, extremely, humongously improbable happened. Who are they fooling? We all know the odds of the same combination of numbers coming on two consecutive lottery draws. Anybody, even schoolkids know they are so incredibly high that it's actually impossible for it to happen.

But it happened! And now they just want us to close our eyes and say "well, it is amazing, but it was bound to happen sometime". Yeah, right! Like we'd be around for zillions of years. We're not blind! Not even colour blind! Here's a test. What number do you see in the image below? (Hint: It's one of the numbers in the lucky combination)

It's a conspiracy. We knew the lottery was a big conspiracy, but now we have proof. PROOF!

Well, some of you may actually think a bit and say "Wait, what kind of a conspiracy is this? Why would the lottery forge the results so that 18 idiots, who probably have less than 4 classes of school, can win less than 6000 euros?" I mean, usually we're talking about big money. Millions. Many millions. Why would the lottery do this? It's just not worth it.

Well, you're not seeing it from the right perspective. But you have an excuse. They're trying to put you off the track. Lucky you have me to guide you. The really incredible thing in this whole story is the 18 'people' that actually played the same numbers. Just think about that for a minute. Nobody can be so stupid. Would you have played the same combination? Never! You see? Now that's strange.

In fact, they aren't that stupid. Quite the opposite. They are of superior intelligence. Aliens, most probably. Not the ET type. More like the Monolith or Brainspawn type. You see, something has ripped through our Universe. This shouldn't have happened. Because it can't normally happen! There was a glitch in the frigging Matrix! And they know it. Or maybe they provoked it. I don't know that much.

Of course, the police are in it, too. They act like they're 'investigating' it. But that's another throw off, too, cause they're not investigating the right thing. They should be looking for telepathic brainwaves, and modifications in the flux of positive bosons. But they're not, are they?

I don't know how or why.... But something big happened. Something very important. Something wonderful. Even Dan Brown missed the story. We have to keep our eyes open. All seven of them. I already have all my money put on 1-2-3-4-5-6 at the Faroese Lottery. If I win, I'm buying a rocket-ride to Jupiter for 2010.

Câteva gânduri

2009-09-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

"Ce absurd e omul! El pretinde că a înaintat, a propăşit, s-a civilizat, născocind nouăle mijloace de comunicaţiune!"

Dacă limbajul nu l-ar da de gol, aţi putea crede că e un citat recent, doar suntem în era comunicaţiei, când marile progrese tehnologice şi toate privirile sunt îndreptate în acest sens. Dar să citim în continuare.

"Dar care e oare scopul progresului, al civilizaţiunii, dacă nu este de a lăsa omului independenţa cea mai largă în faptele, în gusturile şi în cugetările sale? a răspândi peste toată lumea libertatea cea mai întinsă?"

"Nu este oare mai liber omul când, cu organele ce i-a dat Dumnezeu la naşterea sa, pentru umblare, el străbate întinderea, dupe cum îi trece prin minte, oprindu-se unde vrea, cotind unde-i place, alergând când îi abate, odihnindu-se când se simte obosit?"

"A trebuit însă mai întâi ca el să renunţe în parte la această neatârnare spre a se da în sarcina unui dobitoc, spre a se pune la dispoziţiunea lui, încălecându-l sau cărându-se dupe un bou ori dupe un cal."

Alexandru Odobescu - Câteva ore la Snagov

"[....] conchidem că, pre cât dobitocul e un tovarăş plin de compătimire, un prietin intim şi simţitor al celui ce, din simplă îngâmfare, i se zice stăpân, omul, încrezându-i sarcina trupului său, nu i se robeşte cu totul, ci mai mult se învoieşte cu dânsul ca cu o fiinţă căria-i place a jertfi chiar şi parte din nepreţuitul dar al neatârnării sale."

"Până aci toate merg destul de bine; dar când omul, regele naturei, ajunge a-şi încrede soarta unei simple puteri brutale, care nu judică, nu cugetă, nu simte, ci merge mereu nainte, zdrobind toate în preajmă, fără socoteală, fără conştiinţă; când el se face sluga unei căldări cu apă clocotită care târaşte orbeşte dupe sine sufletele omeneşti, şi nu cunoaşte altă lege mai naltă, altă strună mai puternică decât două şine de fier aşternute pe căpătâie de lemnş când omul, într-un cuvânt, clădeşte cu cheltuieli şi sudori colosale drumuri-de-fier, spre a se transporta pe sine, ca o scurcea fără preţ, lepădată în voia nesocotită a elementelor;"

"atunci, eu unul, declar că omul şi-a pierdut cel mai scump odor al inteligenţei sale, raza luminoasă ce-l aseamănă cu dumnezeirea, simţul valoarii şi libertăţii sale; el s-a înjosit până într-atât, încât s-a făcut chiar unealta, jucăria, robul, materiei brutale şi, în loc de a păşi în calea progresului, în loc de a înainta spre civilizare, cum pretind cei mai mulţi, mie mi se pare curat că el s-a cufundat de sineşi în cea mai umilitoare netrebnicie, şi s-a degradat, nesocotitul, la cea mai tristă barbarie!"

Ce absurd e omul....

10 Steps to the Holy Grail of Free Space

2009-09-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

Here are the 10 steps you need to free up a lot of space on your Windows installation drive:

Go to http://support.microsoft.com/kb/290301
Scroll down and click the download link.
Run the executable you've just donwloaded (msicuu2.exe).
Next, I accept, Next, Next.
Wait a bit. Don't click Cancel!
Click Finish
Start -> Run...
Type in "cmd". Hit Enter.
"C:\Program Files\Windows Installer Clean Up\MsiZap.exe" G! (type in the quotes too)
Check how much space you freed.

And now here's the back story. At work, my hard disk has a crappy 80GB and is split in two partitions. Windows XP is installed on drive C: which is only 25GB. I didn't notice how the used space just grew and grew, until the first bubble popped up in the System Tray, warning me drive C: is low on space. I clicked it and it started the Clean Up program - compressing old files, removing temps, whatever. I was OK. For the moment.... Pretty soon another bubble popped up. And this repeated quite a few times.

For some time now, I've been lounging around 1GB of free space. Then I noticed the Windows Updater couldn't finish the current one, and it just tried installing over and over again, always when I left work and hit "Shut down and install updates". Of course, it was trying to install Service Pack 1 for Visual Studio 2005. Which means it downloaded (in the background) the half-a-giga installer. When I shut down Windows, it would execute it an try to install the Service Pack. Of course, it would fail because it didn't have enough space. And so, the next day, the process happened again. And the next, and the next, and next week and so on. First thing I thought of was to kill the updater forever, but the IT guys didn't allow this and I didn't know the Admin password.

I didn't want to repartition the disk, so I just deleted some programs I didn't use. Moved documents to drive D: and stuff like that. The updater wasn't really annoying, since it did all the work when I wasn't there. But, from time to time, I would see that blasted bubble pop up, my free space jumbling between zero and 1GB and that was starting to bug me. I searched the net for articles about cleaning up your Windows folders, but nothing really useful. So I started a hunt of my own.

I looked for areas to free up. The target was big folders. Of course, I ignored important stuff like the Windows dir and other important-looking areas. I found "C:\Documents and Settings\ANDI\Local Settings\Temp" ("ANDI" is my username). Pay notice that "Local Settings" is hidden. In this folder I saw big (meaning 4-5 hundred megs; in my search I ignored anything that had less then 100) VMware stuff, and some exe or msi files that sometimes I couldn't delete because they were in use. Guessing they were updater files and thus didn't need them, I erased them. Of course, they just reappeared after a few days so I was back to that annoying repeating task.

And, if you see the pattern emmerging, after a few of that, I got angry again. This gave the courage to look into the Windows dir. Dusting away the spider webs, my sight fell on "C:\Windows\Temp". Cool! Another one to empty. It contained something called "VS80SP1fsdgfSDFGSDFGSFSGFGdfs...". Ah, the stupid Service Pack installer. Delete! Of course, if it wasn't yet installing. Otherwise, that meant waiting for it to fill up all the space and stop, or do a restart.

I hope by this point you're not surprised that this didn't solve my problem either. My situation was this. Do my work, and when that bubble popped up let the cleanup do it's work, and delete any big stuff in the two directories I mentioned. And this went on and on, until today when I looked some more in my Windows dir and noticed "C:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\Download", 900MB. I searched the net to see if it was ok to delete it. It looked like some uninstall, or installer remnant crap, so I wiped it. I think it's a good point to list the dirs that are subject for deletion when you're low on space. They are:

C:\Documents and Settings\(username)\Local Settings\Temp
C:\Windows\Temp
C:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\Download

There are others, but these are the main ones I found. I was looking at about 2GB and I had an idea. That stupid updater always downloaded the installer to drive C:. So I downloaded it manualy from Microsoft and saved it to D. I ran it from there. For one hour it was just gathering requirements, then it filled up 1GB, and after some more configuration stuff, I could see the free space just going down, and down, right down to zero! Now that was cool. Seeing that the partition was completely full. It took another half-hour for the installer to clean-up. Also note that I previously tried the installer with just below 1GB and it complained it didn't have enough space. It didn't complain when I had 2GB, but still it went to fill it all up. It was close to finishing, though.

So back I was, looking for stuff to delete. I looked in Program Files, but everything there seemed to be useful. That was the second largest folder on the drive. The first was, of course, Windows. It was a whopping 15GB, but I said it's ok. I had a preconception that initially the Windows dir is 10GB so I guessed it just grew with updates over the years. Anyway, I entered it and started tapping space over every directory. System32 was big, assembly was big. Of course. That's where Windows actually is. But they weren't that big. A lot of space was missing. Like the dark matter missing from the Universe.

That's when I saw the Black Hole! A folder named Installer. 10GB! WTF?! A quite plausible explanation rushed through my mind that it was Windows's weird way of keeping its stuff, just installing stuff when it was needed, but nah! It couldn't be. Even for Windows. So I searched the net again. It seems that after you install a program, the installer is copied there, for when you would want to uninstall the application. I also found a link to a blog post that explains the tool I showed you and explains how it works. It removes any of those installers that are not needed anymore for your current installed apps. Meaning it's safer for you to use it, rahter than just deleting manually from the Installer folder.

So I ran it. You can imagine after so many failed attempts, my hopes were really low. It finished in an instant and it also reported some errors. Then, I looked at the free space. My eyes dropped! 10GB of free space! I was astounded. After all that! This was really much more than I hoped for. It all really felt like I completed the Quest for the Holy Grail.

I hope you enjoyed my story, beacuse now I have to put up a disclaimer:

I don't know how safe it is. I'll have to wait some time to see that I don't have any problems and report back. I've only done this on Windows XP and right now I'm going to run it on my home 4-year old laptop with a lousy 40GB hard disk. I don't know if it works for other versions of Windows. If you don't care about what I've just warned you, then just do the 10 steps. If you are unsure, search for other opinions. Google for "MsiZap", "Windows\Installer" or anything else you find here. You could add "safe to use/delete".

Hope this was useful....

Stau Metal Forever

2009-08-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

Am ajuns şi eu (din întâmplare) la unul din celebrele concerte de trupe no-name din Bucureşti. Şi cum 5 trupe înseamnă festival, evenimentul ce a avut loc intr-un club Suburbia semi-plin, a primit denumirea de "Stay Metal Forever Festival". Prima ediţie, cică, după cum ne-a anunţat a patra trupa.

Deci:

Kinethics - Singura trupă pentru care a trebuit să caut cum îi cheamă pentru că nu îmi aminteam. Chitaristul e bun (nu ştiu care dintre ei că i-am ascultat din spate, după colţ, unde se şi auzea acceptabil, adică nu prea tare) şi tobarul şi cam atât. Cred că vocalul lor era în concediu sau ceva pentru că băiatul (era o trupă de puşti) care încerca cu vocea, n-avea nici o treabă cu cântatul. Muzica lor sună a pasaje luate de ici de colo şi ţesute cu aţă. Trupă fără viitor.

IDOL - varianta feminină a Trooper. Cătălina să se ducă să înveţe cu chitara, Julia să dispară de la tobe şi să lase locul Blondei (că ne-a arătat că ştie să dea în cinele) şi cred că ar ajunge o trupă de punk de succes, dacă nu, măcar inedită. PS: Noua piesă e OK.

Highlight Kenosis - Prima impresie - pe ăştia îi ştiu de undeva. Faţa tipei nu se poate uita şi parcă şi pe chitarist mi-l amintesc. Încep să cânte. E clar. Trupă metal cu o tipă cu mişcări de Cristina Pădurariu la voce. I-am mai văzut o dată pe undeva! Cred că un Fânfest sau un Periam. (UPDATE: De fapt un Stufstock: 2008). În fine. S-au prins că sunetu nu puşcă şi n-au început până nu l-au pus pe sunetist să învârtă un pic de butoane. (Ce credeai, Vasile, că n-o să ai treabă deloc cu fraierii din seara asta?) Deci ăştia chiar au avut ceva de zis. Şi muzical adică. Fiecare membru are rolul lui, se integrează bine în trupă, au o viziune şi un mesaj. Nu e nimic de umplutură şi au atras publicul doar prin muzica prestată. O surpriză plăcută. Numărul spectatorilor a atins maximul la ei, adică au fost mai mult decât prieteni, rude ca la precedentii. Bine, cred că asta înseamnă doar că sunt mai cunoscuţi pe acolo prin cartier. Probabil că se datorează şi experienţei mai bogate, având mai mult timp alocat şi numai piese proprii. Primele două trupe sunt doar la început, neavând încă destul material pentru 6 piese, şi au fost nevoite să recurgă la cover-uri.

Inopia - Ăştia cine mai îs? Un proiect inedit pentru România zic eu. Un mini Therion/Haggard symphonic epic metal cu influenţe medievale. Adică au vioară. (Mă întreb de ce n-au cântat ăştia şi la Sighişoara) Sună foarte bine, cu ritmuri plăcute, foarte delicioase, mai ales pentru fanii de aşa-zisului epic şi de medieval. Au un vocal foarte bun pentru acest gen, stilul ăla dramatic, n-aş zice de operă dar pe acolo ("bine, frate", da de ce trebuie să reciţi într-o engleză proastă când cânţi aşa de bine?) şi două tipe (basista şi cea de la clape) ce oferă un backing vocals minunat. Basista m-a impresionat în mod special. Şi nu puteam să uit de chitaristul şi liderul numeroasei trupe, care mai mult a cântat din public sau de pe boxe, incitându-i bine pe cei de faţă. Prezenţa scenică a fost completată de costumele medievale purtate de toţi cei 7 membrii.

De profundis - Ăştia trebuiau să cânte la Feteşti, dar au ajuns headliner-i la festivalul de club. Cântă genul de muzică la care trebuie să filtrezi mult din zgomot ca să te bucuri de părţile bune. Prea profundis pentru mine, care a trebuit să plec după 3 piese ca să prind metroul. O puternică constrângere a bucureştilor de care nici un organizator de concerte nu pare conştient. Nu ştiu câţi din cei rămaşi au auzit de trupa asta, dar probabil că fanii metalului extrem s-au simţit bine, pentru că într-adevăr cântă bine pentru ce cântă. Şi am înţeles de la publicul feminin că sunt şi sexoşi rău aceşti britanici. Totuşi, n-am înţeles de ce au recurs la intrarea spectaculoasă cu mâinile în sus a victorie, în faţa unui public probabil la fel de numeros pe cât ar fi fost si cel de la marele festival de la Feteşti. Ah, şi ca o observaţie interesantă, sunt a doua trupă ce n-au avut un membru de sex feminin, după primii.

Per total, am fost plăcut surprins. Dar ediţiile următoare cred că le voi număra din scaun. Stau Metal Forever!

Despre management si riscuri

2009-06-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Aseară, la sport.ro Marian Iancu intra în direct la aproximativ o oră şi jumătate după incheierea meciului Poli Timişoara - Unirea Urziceni (1:2), mai târziu decât deobicei, ceea ce e de înţeles după un asemenea meci important, mai ales că a şi fost pierdut.

Pe un ton calm, liniştit, probabil eliberat de sentimentele dure, puternice trăite imediat după terminarea disputei, el anunţa:

E prea mare riscul şi nu merită! Gabi nu va mai fi pe bancă la meciul cu CFR, din finală!

Ceea ce înseamnă că domnul Preşedinte a făcut în prealabil o analiză a riscurilor. A luat în calcul toate variantele posibile şi a aproximat riscul asociat fiecăreia. Conform datelor adunate, bineînţeles. Trebuie că i-a dat că varianta rămânerii lui Gabi Balint pe banca echipei este cea mai riscantă, sau măcar există o variantă mai puţin riscantă şi care poate fi implementată înainte de ultimele două jocuri rămase din acest sezon.

Probabil că acea oră şi jumătate a folosit-o mai mult decât pentru a se linişti. Dând dovadă de bune calităţi manageriale, el a utilizat acest timp pentru a evalua situaţia şi a stabili repede ce decizii trebuie luate pentru ca mersul echipei să fie cel mai bun cu putinţă în condiţiile date.

De asemenea, a ţinut să ofere şi câteva din datele adunate, prezentate sub forma unor comparaţii valorice:

Diferenţa dintre Petrescu şi Balint e ca de la cer la pămînt.

Poate că pe lângă compararea antrenorilor între ei, ar fi utilă şi o comparaţie între sine şi alţi manageri din fotbalul românesc.

Citate aproximative oferite de violamania.ro

Luna Amara - Don't let your dreams fall asleep

2009-05-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

Dupa multe luni de cand au anuntat un nou album, Luna Amara a lansat in sfarsit Don't let your dreams fall asleep. Desi in concerte multe din piesele noi au fost mai dure, intre timp, trupa s-a hotarat sa scoata mai intai un album semi-acustic, pentru ca pe viitor sa apara "cel mai heavy" album al lor. Am avut asteptari mari de la acest al treilea album de studio, iar ele mi-au fost satisfacute. Voi trece direct la piese.

Into Another(1) este un intro perfect ales. Un ritm vioi, o piesa ce anunta exact ce urmeaza pe album, atat din punct de vedere muzical, cat si conceptual. Este punctul maxim al vocii lui Nick de pe album (poate chiar din toata discografia de pana acum), acompaniata de instrumentele linistite. Intr-adevar, vocea lui Nick este ceea ce ma face sa ador piesa asta si motivul pentru care am ascultat-o de mai multe ori decat celelalte.

Preferata mea este No Return(7), dar nu cu mult peste celelalte. Piesa este impartita in doua. Prima pune accentul pe versuri si pe voci - Mihnea principala si Nick secundara, pe un ritm sustinut de tobe, bas si chitara acustica. A doua parte este un moment progressive, in care chitara acustica tine aceleasi acorduri, basul, tobele si chitara electrica (Mihnea banuiesc) se joaca intre ele, pentru a acompania solo-ul maestrului Vali Deac. Este un moment cu adevarat sublim, cu siguranta cel mai bun solo gasit pe cele trei albume de pana acum. Si cred ca e cazul sa spun ca acest album imi intareste regretul ca Vali a parasit trupa. Dupa dezlantuirea sa(ma refer la solo), chitara acustica incheie sec si abrupt piesa, parca spunand "Ce? S-a intamplat ceva? E tot aceeasi melodie. Hai, inapoi la telecomenzi." No return....

Mihnea si Nick si-au ales doua piese numai a lor. Deadends(6) e cea a lui Mihnea, in care se poate desfasura la trompeta si isi poate transmite mesajul de revolta, de fapt de revolta la faptul ca nu te poti revolta, versurile sunt destul de directe. Pe final, Mihnea isi rezerva chiar si dreptul de a se enerva putin. Ce e enervant e pronuntia lui in engleza si e clar ca nici melodiile lente nu il avantajeaza, aceasta combinatie stricand destul de mult cateva piese, nu toate pe care canta, ce-i drept.

Piesa lui Nick e cu siguranta Kill the dancer(8), pe care eu unul nu am mai auzit-o in concert de vreo 5 ani. Pe atunci parca era mai vioaie, pe album e o balada. Este momentul lui Nick, unde isi poate exprima sentimentele si in care isi pune in evidenta vocea si calitatile cu chitara acustica. O melodie frumoasa, placuta, emotionanta si care cu siguranta va atinge macar o parte din public.

Daca ar fi sa aleg o piesa pentru primul videoclip de pe acest album, ar fi Unghii de Drac(9). O piesa usoara, accesibila, foarte placuta, un dialog parca, intre cei doi vocali. Cred ca e piesa pe care trompeta se simte cel mai bine, imbinandu-se cu celelalte instrumente.

Hunt the Wire(9) incheie un trio care a inceput cu Deadends si No return. Ati ghicit, tot Mihnea la voce, tot aceasi tema preferat de acesta. Versuri bune, instrumentatie pe masura, un solo reusit, vocea da chix.

Little Sun(11) e o piesa ciudata, experimentala, cu elemente psihedelice, dar cu siguranta merita ascultata. E o declaratie de dragoste (nb: cu substrat), melodia amintindu-mi pe undeva de Din valuri ard. Structural are vreo 3 parti, cu o trecere destul de brusca. Acestea sunt la randul lor incadrate(si la stanga si la dreapta) de catre inregistrari dintr-un mediu urban: niste caini, pasarele, sirene de ambulanta, un avion si un leagan(?) care se hataie vreo 5 minute intregi. Mie imi place foarte mult piesa, mai ales datorita acestei structuri, dar si a instrumentatiei si versurilor. Totusi, poate ca era mai bine sa lase efectiv numai partea cantata, ca sa ne fie noua auditia mai usoara. Eventual sa fi adaugat o varianta scurtata la finalul albumului. Probabil ca au gandit-o exact ca pe Loc Lipsa, cu pauza dintre Din valuri ard(un alt punct de asemanare) si piesa bonus.

Chihlimbar(3) se remarca prin imaginile vizuale create de versuri pentru a emite mesajul lor, perfect imbinate pe ritmul relativ alert al chitarei acustice. Pe True Sunshine(5) va recomand solo-ul, care da inspre blues. Despre Floodmoses(11) as vrea sa spun mai multe pentru ca imi place mult, dar efectiv nu gasesc ce sa spun, decat faptul ca aici ne arata Mihnea cat este de bun ca backing vocals (nu e o ironie sau o rautate! un sfat poate). In rest, e valabil ce s-a spus cu caracter general la celelalte piese. Transitions(2) nu-mi spune nimic, dar nici nu pot spune ca e o piesa slaba.

Mara 2008(12) chiar este un bonus, nu e doar o umplutura pentru album. Luna Amara ne-a rasplatit cu o versiune de studio a piesei ce aparea inregistrata live pe Asfalt. Si intr-adevar, se simte ca a fost lucrata. Instrumentele si vocea se imbina perfect. Cuvintele parca se desprind de pe valuri line, repetate, care mai cresc in intensitate, mai coboara, ca in final sa puna punct acestui album.

Albumul este bine lucrat. Totul se imbina, de la melodii, alternanta lui Mihnea si Nick la voce, a pieselor sentimentale cu cele moralizatoare, pana la realizarea exterioara a albumului. Imaginile de pe coperta si din paginile booklet-ului sunt unitare ca atmosfera artistica cu partea muzicala. Cu siguranta este cel mai bine produs album al trupei. Numai deschideti coperta ca sa vedeti atentia la detalii ce au avut-o. Tin sa incadrez acest produs discografic in categoria albume conceptuale, pentru ca atat design-ul exterior, pictorial, cat si cele 12 melodii nu sunt altceva decat fatete diferite ale aceleasi teme sugerate de titlu: "Don't let your dreams fall asleep". E un adevarat produs artistic complet.

Pi is not a constant (or the Curvature of Heaven)

2007-06-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

A friend showed me this post. The author makes a very good point, and I totally agree with the message he wants to send. However, I'd like to point out another thing. Pi is not a constant. And when I say Pi, I mean the ratio between the circumference of a circle and its diameter.

Indeed, Pi = 3.1415926.... (whatever) in the part of the Universe we live in. As we know, Einstein postulated that space-time is curved, and the curvature is determined by the amount of mass in the area. So there are places where the curvature is much different then on Earth. What this means is that circles drawn on the surface of space-time will have varying circumference to diameter ratios.

I don't want to go through the exact maths of this, but here's a simple example. Let's say we have a sphere, like our Earth. This is the way that the Universe is commonly compared to by scientists. Imagine you draw a small circle on its surface. Since the area covered is small enough, you can consider it as being perfectly flat. This is how we consider our surroundings on our spherical planet. If you were to measure the circumference and the diameter of the circle and divide them, you'd get 3.141592.... and perhaps a warm feeling inside you.

Now, imagine you extend the circle. You will notice that the ratio will be going down as the circle gets bigger. Hell, soon it won't even look like a circle, because you'll have to draw the outline on a bent surface. You may be saying that I'm wrong then about the definition of Pi, as it only holds to circles (the ones we draw on a flat piece of paper). But remember that we are constrained by the surface of space-time, just as we are constrained to the surface of the Earth, so that anything we draw on its surface, would seem to be on a flat surface.

So to recognize a circle even if doesn't look like one, we'll check this by using the definition of a circle, which is: the set of points at a fixed distance from a center point. An important observation I have to make, is that the distance is measured along the surface, that is along a curved line between the points. Now, we can all agree on what circles are and you will have to also agree that as bigger as the circle gets, the ratio will go down. Here's a simple example. consider the center of the circle at the North Pole, and lets take the diameter to be equal to half of the circumference of the sphere we are drawing on. You should get a circle that runs across the equator of the sphere, as all points on the equator are at this distance from the poles. Therefore, the circumference of the circle we just drew is equal to the circumference of the sphere. Calculate the ratio, and you should get 2! Not such a magic number, but nice anyway. :)

If you're still with me after all this math.... I'll get on with my point. Basically, the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of the circle depends on two things: the curvature of the space we draw on (doesn't have to be a sphere! ;) ), and on the size of the circle (therefore on its radius or diameter). But we can consider that circles are small enough that the size doesn't matter. No one is going to draw a big circle on the surface of the Earth.

That leaves the curvature of space. And this can be an explanation of why God would say that Pi = 3. It could be that the curvature of space-time in which God lives would make Pi equal 3. 3 is after all an important number when talking about God. So if we knew how big God draws his circles, we could find out the curvature in which he is living, the Curvature of Heaven.

I believe that this matter should be analysed deeper, who knows what we might find out about ourselves, our beliefs and the world we live in.

P.S. You can find out more about the maths I spoke about, in A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. You can even find the exact formula for Pi, depending on the curvature and the radius of the circle in there, if I remember well.